in retrospect…

now, what is wrong with this picture?

i was driving along Market Market when i saw this poster along a wall of a construction site… i have been seeing this for the past couple of weeks or so, but it was only today that i stopped in front of it…

there is a new building behind a student wearing a hard hat, and there is BSCoE [Bachelor of Science in Computer Engineering] in big bold white letters, and… wait… what?? a student [or graduate of CoE] wearing a hard hat?? ow, c’mon… really??

for one, CoE graduates don’t really need to go in a construction site, ergo, no need to wear a hard hat… second, CoE in a hard hat??

c’mon, guys… fire your marketing people and get a better advert next time… tsk tsk…

Ciao, sweetie…

Alam ko masama na talaga ang kalidad ng edukasyon dito sa Pilipinas… alam ko dumadami na ang tangang Pinoy (pasensya na, totoo lng)… alam ko, dumadami ang di natututo magbasa at magsulat… pero, kailangan ba natin ipangalandakan un? at sa world stage pa man din??? taena!!

sa mga namamahala ng Binubuning Pilipinas (pun intended), bakit nyo naman hinayaan na manalo ito?

panoorin sa youtube

BAKKEEEETTTT???

bumaba na ba pati ang inyong mga pamantayan?? kagandahan na lng ba ang kailangan para manalo sa inyong patimpalak?? e hindi pa nga gaano maganda e!! hindi na ba tinitingnan kasama katalinuhan?? o kasama ang kabobohan sa inyong mga criteria sa mananalo???

kung ganun, tang ina nyo lahat!! ipinakikita nyo sa lahat ang kabobohan ng mga Pinoy. eto ang tanong ko sa inyo: sa Miss World ano ang gagawin nyan?? magpapa-cute??? o magtatanga-tangahan na naman sya??

ewan ko ba sa inyo… sana kung wala kayo mapili, di na lng kayo nagpa-panalo!! di ba may mga interbyu kayo ginagawa? nakapasa sya dun?? hindi kaya meron nangyari na di dapat mangyari para lng sya manalo?? wag kayo magagalit sa akin, dahil ako’y nagtatanong lng!!

(To my foreigner readers: I am so sorry if i have to do this in my native language… i am jsut so ashamed of the contents, that i cannot let you be a part of this farce… so ashamed that we let things like this happen to us… so sorry… and if you ever find out what this is all about, please know that not all of us are like her…)

itigil nyo na ang kalokohang itoi!!!

Ciao, sweetie…

well, i have news first… i have now a new job as a janitor of one of the biggest consulting firms in the Philippines, literally… janitor? well, yeah, for me it is… but, really, my current position is Manager of IT Operations, and my job is to clean up the mess of the previous occupants of my position… messes like spaghetti in the data room [literally!!] and the spaghetti-like cables of the PABX and the data cables… like cleaning the ranks of the IT Ops of people who cannot cope with the rigors of the job… like cleaning the servers [again, both literally and figuratively] like, there are about 79 servers [both clones and branded] half of which are not working right, while half of the remaining are redundant servers of the other fourth… haaysss… ergo, janitor…

anyway, as part of the requirement of the job, i need to have myself checked up, and so, this morning, i went to the clinic and gave my papers to the nurse-aide in the counter… i was made to fill up forms, and made to wait a few minutes… the next hour saw me in a whirlwind of activity, from blood check, to xray, to blood pressure check, and finally, to the eye check… and this was where my nightmare early in the morning started…

rape number 1

i was waiting for my drug test [di ako nag-rebyu!!] when my name was called from about 10 meters away… so, i left the line and went to the counter where i was told that they will do my dental check, instead…

now, if you know me, you’d know that i have really terrible teeth, yellowed due to almost 25 years of smoking, with gaps and broken crowns… and so, i was made to sit in the dental chair, my mouth opened wide, while the lady dentist prodded that thing with the mirror at the end around my mouth, doing this and that [all the while telling me not to breath through my mouth as my breath is foggying up the mirror] and writing on my chart… at the end of that harrowing experience, i felt my insides turned out, and one that i would not want to experience again for a long time…

rape number 2

after the dental exam, i was made to wait for just a short while, and then, off to Consultation Room 2, where there was a small bed and a lab gown… i was told to strip to the skin, put on the lab gown, and told to wait… i am not a complete stranger to physical check ups… in fact, i have had several over the years as part of my physical regimen… but today, it was totally different…

so, i was there all in the nude with only a flimsy lab gown over me, and waiting for my doctor… while waiting, my eyes took in the room, the chair, the small bed, and that lady doctor’s frock… errrr… what??? a lady doctor’s frock… suddenly, my heart beat faster and i felt like it was trying to leap out of my body and through my mouth… all saliva just immediately evaporated that my mouth felt like it was full of grit, and i was just so suddenly afraid…

and just then, the object of my desire fear came into the room… a somewhat young doctor, she just smiled at me, and asked me several questions about my condition [which was, at that point, really bad and not getting better]… after the questions, she made me lie down on the small bed, pressed her fingers on my abdomen and asking me if it hurt… just then, she made me stand, turn around, and she just took hold of the hem of the lab gown i was wearing, pulled it up, made me hold my butt cheeks, and i was made to spread!!! goodness!! that was 1 point for her, and zero for me… but it didn’t end there!!

i was made to face her again, and again, taking hold of my lab gown, she opened them, exposing myself to her!! my poor penis just suddenly wilted!! she took hold of my balls and i was made to cough 3 times, released them, and i immediately closed my gown… sheessshhh!! that was so, uhhh, embarrasing… i lost miserably, 2-0…

to her credit, she was all clinical, professional, and impersonal… but to me, it was all too personal… i have gone through the same procedure many times before, but always with a male doctor… i believe, the last time i disrobed in front of a woman without making love to her was when i was still a baby!!

next time, before going through that, i will ask first if my doctor will be male or female… tsk tsk tsk…

rape number 3

and when i thought the worst was over, i was made to fall in line for the drug testing [again, i never studied for this test, so i just might fail this one... ]

each person undergoing this test goes into a room, stays for about 20-25 minutes each time, then goes out… we were standing outside the testing room, so i don’t really know what was happening behind those doors… and so, we just waited until our turn comes… one incident outside: a lady came out of the room all puffed up and looking mad which made us all wonder why… anyway…

when it was my turn, i was just so eager to go through with it so that i can get home already… i went inside, made to fill up several forms [i wonder why they just didn't give out the forms outside for us to fill up while waiting??]… then, an interview followed, asking me the same questions as the forms [my full name, age, sex(??), marital status, and so on...]… then, the guy [!!] doing the interview handed me a bottle and was told to fill it up with pee… again, no biggie, so i stood up, looked around for some privacy, and when finding none, i asked the guy where was the little boy’s room so that i can do the deed… the guy just looked at me blandly, and told me to do it right in front of him!! what??? yes, you read it right… i have to do it in front of him!! so, without further ado, i took my penis out in front of him [was he gay? i was wondering], peed into that empty bottle [the mouth of the bottle is just so small for the head of my penis... really small...], capped it up, and gave it back to the guy…

now i understood why that lady in front of me was so mad coming out of the room!!

the next time i have to go through all of those again, i have to ask questions first… kainis…

Ciao, sweetie…

Sick of paying for broadband that you have to, well, pay for?

Introducing Google TiSP (BETA), our new FREE in-home wireless broadband service. Sign up today and we’ll send you your TiSP self-installation kit, which includes setup guide, fiber-optic cable, spindle, wireless router and installation CD.

now, Google offers Wifi connectivity for F R E E!! they will even send you the kit you’d need, plus all the instructions manuals, when you sign up with their service…

all you’d need after signing up and receiving the kit is a properly working commode and a little knowledge of splicing a fiber-optic cable… how hard is that??

TIsP, as the service is called, also has advanced options:

• Professional Installation Service
• In-Commode Package Delivery
• TiSP for Enterprise

anyway, if you’re already tired of the constant disconnections you are experiencing with your current provider, or sick of that slow speed, you can try out TiSP… in any case, this is free, so what have you got to lose??

Ciao, sweetie…

with Leo Martinez as Congressman Manhik Manaog at your self-service and Manuel “Jun” Urbano, Jr as Mr Shooli, M.O.N.A.Y ni Mr Shooli is set to be shown soon in Philippine theaters…

M.O.N.A.Y or “Misteyks of the Neysyon Address Yata” is a movie, though political in nature but without pointing to any particular issue, with lots of comedy, but the nature of the movie is serious… according to Martinez, this movie is meant to educate votes who will troop to the polls on May 14…

maraming tangang pulitiko ang nasa puwesto dahil na rin sa mga tangang botante

and that is true enough… if we want politicians who will work towards the people’s agenda, who is working for us and not for themselves or for their political partymates or their friends or their padrinos, we must be astute enough to know our politicians not simply because they are celebrities…

anyway, this is one Pinoy movie that i will definitely watch our for… you see, i don’t watch Pinoy movies for the very simple reason that watching one makes me feel stupid afterwards… which is why i will not be voting for Cesar Montano because his platform will be the movie industry… ewwwww…

Ciao, sweetie…

Tags: [ MONAY | politics | movies | Mr Shooli ]

aside: go for the rhinoplasty Houston, Texas

have you ever done something stupid that costs your company millions of pesos worth of data??

if you have, then you prolly know how this computer technician in Alaska felt when, after formatting a hard disk, found out later on that it contained $38 billions worth of accounts of applicant information for an oil-funded sales account… it still wouldn’t have been so bad except for one thing: the daily backup tapes were unreadable!! :o

so, their final approach was to recover from another source of backup… they turned to the most unlikely source of information: paperwork consisting of application forms, birth certificates, and proof of residence stored in more than 300 cardboard boxes, costing the Permanent Fund Dividend Division more than $200,000 to re-enter everything over a period of 4 months to re-enter everything using 70 people working overtime…

i remember my biggest mistake when i was first starting out in network administration… this was way back in 1998 when i was given the task of deleting unneeded directories in a server… i was just supposed to delete the contents of the /tmp directory in a Linux server, but i didn’t look where i was at the time and simply typed in rm -rf * denoting delete all thinking that i was where i was supposed to be… you know what happened next, right?? no?? well, when the prompt was supposed to return after a brief period of time and it didn’t, i suddenly realized my mistake and immediately hit the off button of the server…

obviously, i was at the root directory, and the command proceeded to delete ALL the directories one-by-one… fortunately for me, it did it alphabetically… and since the /home [where the most important user data were in] was right in the middle of the list, and i was able to turn it off at the right time, it was saved… i simply re-installed Linux, and it was like no one knew what happened… **whew**

after that time, i was very conscientious of the things i do in a server, most especially if i was deleting something… even if it was just a file… and that was the turning point of my career in administering Linux servers…

anyway, whatever happened to that computer technician??

Ciao, sweeite…

Tags: [ computer | technician | Linux | humor ]

aside: are you looking for New York City face lifts??

(b) hic!!

i never was much of a drinker… in fact, i never drink alcoholic beverages at all!! but then again, most of my high school friends will immediately dispute this fact if they ever get to read this [good thing they don't]… yes, i was a drinker during my high school day, most especially during my senior year… all 12 of us will go to a random friend’s house, buy about 6 of those tall bottles of Tanduay, and get really blasted… and we do that almost everyday… you can call it peer pressure, but that was a time in my life that i was totally disgusted with myself…

during college, i became so sober AA would have been so proud of me… i never touched the stuff even if the incentives were so tempting… like that time where my friends even had a serving girl dress really really suggestive [read: slutty], and she told me that i can bring her home if i will just drink… hahaha!! no shit!! later on, though i didn’t drink, i still got to bring her home… nyehehe… but don’t tell my wife…

and i remained true [or stupid, however you look at it] to myself… and i still am… that is, until last night…

the wife and i went on a date since it was payday yesterday, and because it had been a long time since we had dinner just by ourselves… and went to our most favorite spot in all of Greenbelt 2, BUBBA GUMP… it has been our habit never to order the same food twice whenever the wife and i go out, for the simple fact that we want to try out different dishes… and because we need new materials for a food blog that we maintain…

anyway, Apples ordered The Ultimate Combo [Flat Iron Steak and Skewered Shrimps with coleslaw and mashed potatos] for herself, and i ordered Lt Dan’s Drunken Shrimp [Tender Shrimp in Spicy Bourbon Sauce] for me… not knowing that i’d regret that choice later on… [...more about the food here...]

don’t get me wrong, though… if we are talking about taste, Bubba Gump has one of the tastes in food that i totally adore… spicy, garlicky, fried, grilled… name it, they have it… i regretted having the Drunken Shrimp simply because of the effect it had on me…

i got drunk!!

i thought that Bourbon Sauce is just a sauce they called Bourbon Sauce… apparently, it is a sauce spiked with Bourbon!! and that was my undoing… i was halfway in the meal when i suddenly felt lightheaded, my temples were throbbing, and i had a great need to lie down, close my eyes, and go to sleep for a long time… i can’t think straight, nor can i walk straight while going to the car later on… my headache got worse while we were travelling, and i slept for a little while in the process… later that evening when i almost [almost!!] have my bearings right, i told my wife: “sweetie, next time we eat there, please remind me not to get that again, ok??”

and my wife just knowingly smirked…

bitch… :s

Ciao, sweetie…

Tags: [ Bubba Gump | shrimps | bourbon | food ]

it is time again for us to all troop to the polls this coming May 14 for the elections… if you are still not sure of whom to go for, i have a friend who is also wanting your votes…

i assure you of the following if you do vote for my friend:

• my friend will not go renege on his election promises,
• my friend will listen to you if you have something to say,
• my friend will help the poor and unemployed,
• my friend cares, and;
• if elected, things will be better for everyone…