1st timers on board!!
yey! we have our first question… this was sent to me just this afternoon, and it seems that the store is now open and we have our very first customer…
email goes like this:
I found your blog thru a friend of mine and I thought
I’d write to you regarding my problem.Help!! My girlfriend and i are thinking of having sex
real soon, and we are still both virgins. I don’t know
what to do, but as the man I am expected to do things.
Right?Please help?? I am at a loss here.
Regards,
since my co-authors are still away on vacation, i’d get first crack at this… their answers will be up real soon… anyway…
dear reader, all of us men were put into this situation one time or another and my only response to this is to be very real, both to yourself and to your girlfriend… i assume you already know all about safe sex?? if you don’t, have a pause for a while and read up on them first… one very good reading is Positive.org where they tackle all about it… go on, read first…
continuing on, as i’ve said, be very real… have a good movie first, have dinner afterwards, have light discussions about things that both interest you, and if you’re both sure that you want to go ahead with it, then go where you’d both be alone… a hotel is much preferable but a motel will be cheaper… but wherever you go, be sure that it will be comfortable for both of you… if your girl feels uncomfortable, stop and talk about it… let her have her say, man!! do whatever is more comfortable to both of you… remember: it is also her first time, and she’d have more to be afraid about than you do…
and remember to take it slow… i know you are a first timer, so it is understandable to fumble a few times… remove your clothes first leaving your underwear, then remove hers next… again, if she balks, stop!! if she doesn’t, remove everything except her underthings… talk, kiss, fondle, kiss some more… just do what feels natural and you won’t get lost… i will not get into details here, every first time is very different, as my co-authors will also tell you…
take note: it is her first time, too, so let her take the lead from time to time… taking charge is really not expected of you… and when you’re finished?? cuddle!! and talk about what just happened… there’s no point in being shy about it now…
ok??
ChrisH 
The jester-in-exile sez:
Dude, I can understand your nervousness. Funny, isn’t it, how in this country we guys are encouraged to be rakes whereas the women are encouraged to be saintly? (A topic for another day, this one; why can’t some women take the initiative?) Now, I’m not going to talk about the moral issues about this — I’m assuming you’re a decent fellow who’s never used that “if you really love me, you’ll sleep with me” card of those idiots out there, and you and your girl really want to get it on.
But on to your quandary… let’s start with the basics.
First, load up on your ammunition. Go to Mercury Drug, 7-11, MiniStop, Watson’s, or whatever to pick up several boxes of condoms, one of each kind, and as many kinds as you can. Get yourself fitted properly. Here are the benefits of a properly-fitted rubber:
1. You and your woman are protected from STDs. Yes, dude, there are some STDs can be had from activities not related to sex, so if you haven’t had a complete physical to determine you’re clean, wear a rubber.
2. You and your woman can avoid an unwanted pregnancy. Unless you both want to conceive a child, so then the rubber becomes superfluous.
3. A properly fitted rubber acts as a blood pressure cuff around the lower part of your pork sword, which means you get engorged more and you get to be stiffer longer… which is always a good thing, given that most women are multiorgasmic while we men are not as lucky.
4. Some brands have ribbing or studs, whose frictional action adds to women’s pleasure. (Did you know that there is a branch of science dealing with friction between two surfaces? It’s called tribology.)
If your rubber is too large, here are your problems: 1. You and your girl won’t be protected. Two words: Lea-kage. Oh, and; 2. You won’t feel much and thus won’t enjoy much. Neither will your girl. You may as well have worn a tube sock or wiped some Novocaine on. If your rubber is too small, well, blown balloons don’t keep any air. ‘Nuff said.
Next, on the event you actually go get it on, my advice is to start with necking until things get really hot and heavy so that she starts stripping off her clothes in a big hurry (I know that usually it’s you who takes off her shirt). The reason is that your girl will be able to determine for herself if she’s ready for you down there (you could find that out for yourself, but then you might hurt her with your finger/licking enthusiasm, so we probably should reserve that for later). It’s a great idea to go ahead and mutually explore each other, but take it slooooooow. Think of it as if you had a speed limit of one square inch of skin per minute. There is one phrase you should remember, which will make sure that she’ll be ready for you: Half-speed makes things wetter, and slippery when wet makes for exciting driving.
When you both finally agree that IT’S TIME (which is usually signaled by her pulling you in between her legs or some analoguous grab or something), don’t forget to put on a new rubber. (Don’t be an idiot and reuse one from your fitting tests.) Now, this is the part where you have to be especially careful… no matter how slow you were before, your entry has to be much much slooower. Make sure that you listen to her and pause if she says it, or rather, yours, hurts; take a moment to let her breathe and let her settle into her fitting you right in. Here’s a tip to make things easier: let her control how slow you enter and how deep you go by letting her be on top. (Plus, you won’t get so tired, what with all the patience you gotta exert, and the view from the bottom is great.)
At some point cognitive thought disappears. That’s normal. Enjoy it with her. Enjoy each other. Sex is fun. ‘Nuff said.
Afterwards (I assume you’re a decent fellow who won’t treat a girl like a rag), take a moment to cuddle. At some point, you have to go to the bathroom, swiftly take the rubber off, flush it down the toilet, wash down there, and then go back and cuddle with her again. Cuddle to keep warm, and cuddle to get hot again (yep, like I said, it’s fun).
Oh, and assuming you got it on in some hotel or motel room somewhere, at least do your girl the courtesy of seeing her home.
I think that’ll do for the present. Come back after you’ve learned a bit and found your form.
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getting in the way? Don’t worry, dude, your not alone. 
